Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
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