if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
