Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
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