lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
We don't watch enough power rangers
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
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