my sisters under your porch take her home
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
It's rum buckets o'clock
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
