This girl is more easily done than said...
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
Dignity is for republicans.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
Randomize
