JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
Randomize
