I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
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