i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
If its not for food we ain't going out.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
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