it was like eating out sand paper
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
Randomize
