Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize
