took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
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