we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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