Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
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