Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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