Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
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