??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
Randomize