they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize
