So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
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