Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
25 People Admit the Worst Things They’ve Done for Good Reasons
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
25 Things All Men Can Definitely Agree On
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.