carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
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