i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
Randomize
