you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
Randomize
