You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
