I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
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