im drinking this country out of the recession.
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
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