Your tits are I can't wait for
end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
It's just like the Real World with babies
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You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
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his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
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