Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize