he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
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Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
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