Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
I need a burrito and a hug.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
Are these your boobs on my camera?
Randomize
