I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
