Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
Randomize
