i just wanna soil my oats bro
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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