you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
