I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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