remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Randomize
