You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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