can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
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