Well apparently he's into motor boating.
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
Randomize
