It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
Randomize
