I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
Randomize
