You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
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