sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Randomize
