Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
I think im going to throw up on grandma
quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
Randomize
