He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
Randomize
