I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
did i just pee glitter
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
