...so i touched it.
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
