My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
How drunk are you?
Completed.
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
