Your tits are I can't wait for
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
