Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize