She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
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