sorry about calling you the devil all night.
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Your penis caused this!
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize