what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
My vagina is very pro this idea
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
