Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
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