how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
This is the high leading the old right now
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
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