True but thats because hes a fetus.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Randomize
