I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize