My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
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