He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
Randomize
