you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
i can't believe i had my finger in that
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Randomize