Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
Randomize
