Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Randomize
