I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
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